Reality Tv World Message Forum

Thank you for the interview with Chip and Reichen ["Reality Sets In," October 28]. What ma exhilarating night to see these two gay men cross The Amazing Race finish line! It truly added to a summer of gay-positive events. Their openess during the show and now about their relationship and breakup is, although heartbreaking, a real glimpse into the honest and often less-than perfect lives of gay men. All this shows is that we are like the rest of Americans in our strengths and weaknesses, our successes and failures. Once again gay men and women on TV reality shows give us a glimpse of the intricate fabric of our lives. Again, The Advocate has helped all of us to take time to reflect about the wonderful complexities of our lives--our relationships, our dreams, and our day-to-day struggles to have a place at the table.

Vincent J. Chiumento, via the Internet

While it is unfortunate that Reichen and Chip have parted, they have contributed much to the advancement of how gay men are perceived in this country. Their nearly five-year partnership exceeded over 50% of hetero marriages and most likely exceeded 90% of gay mole relationships. They are actually the best gay role models ever portrayed on television to date. Imagine: two masculine, guy-next-door types treating each other so respectfully, and viewed by millions of Americans each week. Who has done more on TV in showing that gay men do not fit the tired stereotypes portrayed each week, year after year, on shows like Queer as Folk and Queer Eye? It is such a refreshing change from those sad stereotypes I was forced to grow up with. Now the young gay closeted high school guy on the football team has someone to identify with.

Robert J. Donkis, Washington, D.C.

I have more admiration for Chip and Reichen now than before. I have just entered into a relationship, and if I got anything out of that interview, it was to make my partner my friend. How admirable it is that they have remained friends. They broke every stereotype about gay relationships by staying friends and not turning catty. I applaud them and wish them well.

Ron Angelo, South Attleboro, Mass

Your interview with Reichen and Chip was so strange. I was surprised to read Reichen say, in complete seriousness, "I need to be in a relationship where someone's always telling me that I look OK." Seriously? What kind of role model is that?

It's so tiresome to read about another VGL gay man talk about how ugly he feels, especially when the photo shoot appears to have gone out of its way to show off the muscles, highlighted hair, smile, and those sparkly, sparkly eyes. I can certainly understand the reality of low self-esteem, but is it something we really want to read about, especially from a man who is getting ready to shoot a wall calendar full of pictures of himself? Or maybe low self-esteem leads someone to feel compelled to create such a calendar. Of maybe it's just his way of trying to come across as "real." hi the end it is sentiments like those that make him come across as shallow.

Shawn Nygaard, Minneapolis, Minn.

I question whether the queer community should place so much emphasis on marriage. I believe legitimacy and admiration come from leading dignified, respectable lives. While I have no reason to believe Chip and Reichen don't live up to these standards, simply winning The Amazing Race while calling themselves married doesn't equate to being role models.

James Goodall, Los Angeles, Calif.

Reichen and Chip are beautiful but far from being America's sweethearts. Did the interviewer watch the show? These two winners are not role models. They didn't get along with each other under extreme stress (they treated the orangutans better in Malaysia), threatened to withhold payment from foreign cab drivers for not speaking English, treated each other rudely, and mostly just wanted to let the world know that two (straight-acting) gay men were capable of winning. I respect and applaud Reichen and Chip for winning the million, but I do not respect them for being rude and homophobic.

David Murphy, New York, N.Y.

Your cover is an embarrassment. Could you possibly have captured more gay stereotypes? Gratuitous nudity, sexual suggestiveness, body Nazism, and desecration of the American flag aren't accurate reflections of most gays nor the image we should be presenting to the public as we battle for equality.

Thomas Wilson

Colorado Springs, Colo.

What disturbed me about your cover was the use of the American flag. I was taught in my youth and in flag military that the flag is a symbol to be respected. I was taught it represents principles and institutions that make America great. I'm sure Reichen, as a service academy graduate, was taught the same. I believe Reichen made a mistake by agreeing to do the cover in this manner. I have many gay friends who have served of still serve in our armed services, and I do not believe any of them would treat the flag this way. The military is a very symbolic organization, and your cover did serve the fight against "don't ask, don't tell" well. Lehmkuhl, as a spokesman for SLDN, needs to understand that with this role comes the responsibility to act with a certain level of decorum. Draping oneself in the American flag does not meet this level of decorum. It sends a message that gay men and women are not patriotic, do not have respect for the institution, and therefore do not deserve to serve.

Larry Wood, San Diego, Calif.

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