Mad Tv Tickets

Think David Brent of The Office. Think Major Charles Ingram on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Add Jeffrey Archer and Neil Hamilton and you might have come up with John Gurney. A man with "champagne ideas and Coca-Cola pockets", in the words of Joe Kinnear, the manager he sacked two days after taking over Luton Town in May 2003.

"I was the most hated man in football because of events that have transpired... I've now moved myself into a superstar hate category that no one has ever been in before," the property developer tells Trouble at The Top: Luton Kicks Off (BBC2). Hated? Well, OK, if you insist.

We begin in May 2003 with a mystery consortium purchasing the club for pounds 4. Don't laugh, for Ken Bates bought Chelsea for a quid in 1982 and look at them now. Gurney soon pops up as the face behind the buyers, and within two days the popular Kinnear and Mick Harford are clutching their P45s.

Gurney had bought Bedford Rugby Club in 1999 for a similar sum and was - as the programme reveals - hardly ever around. The survivors of that takeover mention the words "shadowy, a helluva struggle, a rough ride" to describe the sequence of events as attempts were made to relocate to Coventry or Kent.

So, when Gurney takes over Luton, saying "this is going to be the new Man United", some cynics feel he is more interested in developing the prime piece of land next to the M1 and Luton Airport, which the club own. The next few months confirm their fears.

Having sacked Kinnear, Gurney comes up with the idea of having a "Manager Idol" contest, conducted along similar lines to Pop Idol. Phone votes, at 50p a time, split for Kinnear, Steve Cotterill and Mike Newell.

Kinnear appears to be the popular choice, but in the confusing, frenetic hours before the announcement Newell is seen at the ground. "There's a press conference at 1pm, get your make-up on," Gurney tells his chosen one. "Any last-minute things in your contract that need discussing?" Newell appears oblivious to the boss man's shenanigans.

A television interviewer collars Gurney. "It seems as though Kinnear was favourite but he's not here and we've seen Mike Newell at the ground this morning." The slimy one wriggles. "Joe's winning, but Newell's coming on... Joe was favourite till the weekend but now it's impossible to tell."

Next we see Gurney sidling up to Newell: "You're there by four votes, the board has the casting votes". It's not too late for George W to get hold of Gurney.

All the while the tireless, loyal club secretary, Cherry Newbery, is left to the day-to-day running of the club. After the phone ballot she speaks to Gurney, amid confusion about the authenticity of the numbers. "It's irrelevant really because you have your manager [Newell] out there," she rightly tells him as the votes are still being counted.

The narrator of this documentary is the excellent Tom Baker, though you can hear Little Britain in his voice, which makes it difficult to take him seriously. "Late votes for Newell have surfaced," he says, thick with irony.

More negatives to unsettle the natives. Players and staff aren't paid on time and Newbery must deliver the bad news. "You were supposed to be paid yesterday, and couldn't because the money has not cleared," she tells a bewildered member of the groundstaff. "It's not going to happen today... I can't honestly say when you'll be paid."

With supporters refusing to buy season tickets, things are grim. Another problem has arisen, in the form of an unexpected debenture. On the consortium's absence of cash, Gurney tells staff: "How would anyone invest in a club if there's a debenture?" A woman quickly replies, "YOU did."

By 14 July, Gurney has left the club, who are placed into administration. The combination of Newbery, a group (Trust in Luton) and fans has carried the day. "They've made a big mistake, I never walk away from a fight," Gurney snaps. "The game's not over until the last kick of the game." He is last seen riding off into the sunset on a horse called Good Riddance.

Today Luton, secure in the hands of a local consortium, head League One and Newell remains as manager. Newbery's impassioned plea to fans everywhere is, "Don't ever let this happen to a football club again". But you just know it will.

Copyright 2004 Independent Newspapers UK Limited
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.

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