Mad Tv Dot

When Rodgers and Hart coined the musical phrase "Hate California, it's cold and it's damp"--lyrics Frank Sinatra made famous--the result was one of the most effective jobs of reverse public relations for the Golden State since the San Francisco earthquake. Head north along California's coastal highway, and you soon realize there's more than a semblance of truth to the words of the classic tune. By the time you reach Big Sur country, you can feel the damp chill setting in. And if you're driving early in the morning, there's a heavy mist to contend with.

But these are minor distractions at best--and quickly fleeting. For when the midday sun burns off the early morning fog, Mother Nature lifts her veil to reveal some of her most brilliant treasures, saved for exclusive showing here.

We began our recent central coast exploration in Los Angeles and headed north, saving the best for last. (In the past, though, we've started farther south in Carlsbad, a delightful resort village on San Diego County's north coast. European-style buildings house antique shops and charming boutiques, and four miles of uncrowded beaches fringe Carlsbad's shores. The town's most colorful spectacle happens every March and April, when its 50 acres of commercial flower fields, within view of the ocean, are in full bloom, beckoning walkers to take a closeup look.)

First stop, L.A.'s famous Farmers Market, where we stocked up on freshly baked sourdough bread, Port Salut cheese, hard salami, and a couple of bottles of cabernet sauvignon produced by a local winery--the perfect companion for the cheese and sausage and to chase away the damp chill Lorenz Hart's lyrical lament had alerted us to.

The drive north out of L.A. along Highway 101 was uninspiring but perked up considerably in the picturesque Channel Islands town of Oxnard. Stretching our legs on a self-guided tour, we strolled downtown along Heritage Square, lined with restored Victorian mansions.

Ventura, a bit farther north along Highway 101, is a quaint oceanfront village with plenty of specialty shops and fresh-off-the-boat seafood restaurants. There are some great swimming beaches, along with one of the area's most popular boogie boarding and surfing beaches, Surfer's Point at Seaside Park. Ventura is also a good jumping off place for an excursion to the unspoiled beauty of Channel Islands National Park, just off the coastline.

Santa Barbara, our next stop, is less than 100 miles north of Los Angeles. With its palm-studded golden beaches, historic architecture of white-washed, red-tile adobes, and towering mountains as a backdrop, the city of TV soap-opera fame is a prime Pacific coastline sanctuary. A walking tour that began at Stearns Wharf, the oldest working pier in California, was highlighted by a stroll through the museum, cloister gardens, and chapel of Mission Santa Barbara, dating back to 1786.

Scooting along the rugged coast after leaving Santa Barbara, we caught our first glimpse of the wonders that lay ahead, with one tranquil beach after another popping into view. The other side of the highway was fringed by majestic mountains with dusty peaks and rock crags plunging down to the sea, along one of the most magnificent stretches of real estate in the world.

Half way between Los Angeles and San Francisco, San Luis Obispo seemed a good place to stop for the night. For one thing, there are 8,500 lodging rooms, not to mention dozens of inviting restaurants. One of the most unusual motels in San Luis Obispo, the Madonna Inn (no connection with the celebrated entertainer), is fight out of Fantasy Land, with each guest room more whimsical than the next.

Consider an interesting side trip to Oceana Dunes State Vehicular Recreation Area on Highway 1 and its 23 miles of hard-packed sandy shoreline. This is the only spot left in California where "shore driving" is still permitted.

Tooling along Highway 1 (the Pacific Coast Highway) at the 55 m.p.h, limit, start slowing down about 35 miles north of San Luis Obispo and watch for the cutoff to Cambria. Most motorists whooshing by in a mad dash for San Francisco or down to L.A. don't realize this little charmer even exists. A pine-studded piece of California history founded by Welsh settlers more than 125 years ago, this scenic seaside village offers a nifty selection of galleries, gift shops, and fine restaurants. If you have time for nothing else, be sure you stop at the Soldier Factory on Main Street. Inhabited by an army of toy soldiers larger than Cambria's total population of 6,500, the amazing display of colorful men-in-arms set up in parade or battle formation is the largest concentration of miniature military figurines in the world.

Finally, we arrived at La Cuesta Encantada, 42 miles north of San Luis Obispo. Perched atop "the Enchanted Hill" at San Simeon is the fabled castle built by newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst, the greatest single manmade attraction along the entire central coast.

The fantasy begins with a bus ride along a winding road rising 1,600 feet above sea level. What appears from below as a tiny white dot against the clear blue sky grows larger and larger until you reach the castle. Close up, the awesome edifice (better known as Hearst Castle) looks for all the world like something created by Walt Disney's Hollywood dream factory during one of their wildest flights of fancy.

You get a better perspective on the castle's scope just by counting the rooms--165 of them--in four houses on the 127-acre estate. Casa Grande, the main house, has 100 rooms, 38 bedrooms, and 41 baths. The Assembly Room on the first floor of Casa Grande, the largest of 14 sitting rooms, is big--really big--as in, need a hangar for a 727? The adjoining Refectory, which served as the only dining room on the Enchanted Hill, is so huge, with a ceiling so high, you could stack a couple of McDonald's in it and still have room for a Wendy's. There's also a luxurious movie theater in Casa Grande, where during the castle's 1920s and `30s heyday, Hearst's celebrity house guests relaxed after dinner in over-stuffed chairs to watch first-run films or home movies of themselves.

Quitting this fascinating monument to wretched excess, we drove along the rugged coast, savoring the natural splendor of the Big Sur coast as one lonely beach after another slipped by. Lofty with steep slopes swept down to deserted beaches and hidden coves. Massive eerie rock formations cantilevered out from the mountains, hanging precariously overhead in a breathtaking panorama of wild beauty.

About 40 miles north of Big Sur, we entered the Monterey Peninsula and its cozy Carmel-by-the-Sea. The tiny hamlet reminded us of a European village, resplendent with one-of-a-kind shops, elegant boutiques, art galleries, restaurants, and outdoor cafes lining its pine-shaded streets. But don't get so hung up on shopping and dining in Carmel that you miss out on the Monterey Peninsula's other attractions. The acclaimed Monterey Bay Aquarium, located on historic Cannery Row in Monterey, offers an amazing array of marine life and exotic sea creatures in over 100 exhibits and galleries. Cannery Row, once the site of sardine canneries and the setting for John Steinbeck's novels Cannery Row and Sweet Thursday, now bustles with shops, galleries, and eateries.

Carmel's North San Antonio Avenue will lead you directly to the scenic 17-Mile Drive at Pebble Beach. To call it scenic is to grossly understate the phrase. At about the halfway point, you'll find the Seal and Bird Rocks picnic area, a popular beach spot to enjoy a picnic lunch to the barking accompaniment of offshore denizens of sea lions, gulls, and cormorants. One of the most familiar landmarks--and possibly the most photographed site on the central Pacific coast--is Point Lobos and its wind-torn lone cypress, clinging magically to a nearby bare rock.

The timeless beauty of California's central coast is one of nature's greatest achievements--waiting to be discovered.

For travel information, contact California Tourism, (800) GO-CALIF; www.gocalif.ca.gov

COPYRIGHT 2002 World Publishing, Co. (Illinois)
COPYRIGHT 2002 Gale Group

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