Fuse Tv Uranium

America wants a war, and we responded. Call your local cable channel and demand, "I Want My All-War Network!" Our lineup of shows includes:

Wolf and Wolfowitz

Watch CNN's Wolf Blitzer lob softballs at Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, who hits them out of the park, all the way to Baghdad, in this no-give-and-take, all-holds-barred feature.

Chomsky, Cockburn, Said

What they might have said had they actually been on television. Hosted by Robert Novak.

Whoops/Collateral Damage

Qaddafi's kids in Tripoli, television journalists and Chinese embassies in Belgrade, Northern Alliance fighters in Afghanistan, peasants in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Panama, Iraq--you name it (and that's not easy), and we cover it. Retired General Norman Schwarzkopf and Arnold Schwarzenegger, hosts.

The Chemical Industry Institute Presents: Cluster Bombs, Daisy Cutters, and Peacekeepers

A virtual reality show in which viewers are torn to shreds, incinerated and vaporized, and live to tell their stories. Admiral John Stufflebeam and Regis Philbin, hosts.

Friendly Fire

This educational feature looks at creative and evolving uses of language, beginning with the change from War Department to Defense Department in 1945. Special segments on Airborne Sanitation and Target Servicing. Jesse Helms and Tom Brokaw, hosts.

Rolling Thunder

Learn comprehensive world geography by following the U.S. global war tour. From Cuba to Afghanistan (and back), an educational show for those of us who cut geography in high school. Sponsored by G.E., Westinghouse, and Raytheon.

Who's Next?

An interactive call-in show in which viewers vie for top prizes by guessing which defenseless Third World country we'll attack next. Britney Spears and Barbara Walters, hosts.

Journalists and War

From I. F. Stone to contemporary stenography. With Brian Williams.

Boom! It's a Flag. Boom! It's a Logo

Watch them duke it out in friendly but dogged competition for every square inch of your big-screen TV. John Madden and Bill O'Reilly, co-hosts.

Behind the Sneer--Dick Cheney, The Lighter Side

The little-known wacky side of the Veep--locker room humor, impersonations of liberals, bagging ducks with M-16s, lampshade dances, and more. Hosted by Mary Matalin.

The Fear Factor

Watch starving Third World civilians tremble beneath B-52 strikes, napalm runs, and Special Ops assaults. How long can they hold out? Dick Clark and Bill Kristol are hosts.

Inside the Axis of Evil

Afghanistan or Yugoslavia, Iraq or Iran, Eastasia or Eurasia--does it really matter? A historical perspective with Caspar Weinberger and George Will.

God vs. The Evildoers

Live coverage of Attorney General John Ashcroft's daily prayer meetings. Ashcroft demonstrates how God has told him that He is on our side and against the bad guys. Watch closely for occasional but always riveting talking in tongues. Ralph Reed and Pat Robertson provide expert commentary and translations.

Weapons of Mass Destruction & Noblesse Oblige

We got 'em, they want 'em. And if they get 'em, we'll attack 'em with our bigger ones. An overview of America's massive arsenal of weapons of mass destruction--atomic, nuclear, chemical, biological. Featuring nostalgic Hiroshima and Nagasaki footage. Hosted by retired General Henry Shelton.

Everybody Loves Rummy

Smirk your way through this daily show, in which the cantankerous but lovable two-time Secretary of Defense humiliates reporters and defends the indefensible.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World

Mutually Assured Destruction since 1945, from Kahn to Kissinger to Kubrick. Ann Coulter hosts.

Homeland Security Uber Alles

Using stirring martial footage and marching music, director Tom Ridge explains how spending billions of dollars, eliminating curbside check-in, and color codes will keep us safe from the evildoers and how his programs are modeled on the best of their highly successful Prussian predecessors.

Former Friends

Bin Laden, Mullah Omar, Qaddafi, Saddam Hussein, Noriega, Ortega, Khomeini, Milosevic--profiles in infamy. Featuring Ashleigh Banfield's docu-interviews.

Inside the Ministry of Truth

Join hosts Pat Buchanan and Winston Smith in this quiz show in which contestants guess which Office of Strategic Influence news stories are disinformation and which ones Donald Rumsfeld promises are truthful. A Rupert Murdoch Production.

Monday Night Bombing

A groundbreaking new series. Big time bombardment, from Basra to Baghdad, Kandahar to Kabul. Featuring cruise missiles, cluster bombs, low-yield nukes, bunker busters, depleted uranium bombs, and Daisy Cutters. With Dennis Miller and Al Michaels.

Fighting for Freedom

This blockbuster series looks at America's military invasions since World War II, with a new segment every week: from Korea to Vietnam, Laos to Cambodia, Nicaragua to Iraq, Grenada to Haiti, the Dominican Republic to El Salvador, Yugoslavia to Afghanistan, Guatemala to Somalia, the Philippines to Georgia, Colombia to Yemen. Strom Thurmond and P.J. O'Rourke, hosts.

George W. Bush, From Idiot to Savant

Marvel at the amazing transformation of the man who was once compared to Alfred E. Neuman but then morphed into a statesman of Churchillian gravitas. From the goofy sneer to the strategic tear. A bin Laden/Cheney Production.

Brian Boldt, who edited the political poetry journal Green Fuse in the 1990s, teaches writing at Santa Rosa (California) Junior College. He has a new collection of poetry, "One Never Knows, Do One?" (Running Wolf Press).

COPYRIGHT 2002 The Progressive, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group

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