French Open Tv Schedule
Sport on TV: Jaunty jingles and Open fripperies drive me toCHRIS MAUME Everything is always cosy, warm and cheery in Beebland. It's existence with the rough edges smoothed and soothed away, life with a tasteful soundtrack. And under this Middle English tyranny, an event like the Open Championship can't be left to stand proud and unadorned, one of the undeniably great occasions, a monument to sporting endeavour and the human spirit. Obviously, that would be silly. Some creative types might be out of a job. No, it has to be dressed up.
That probably sounds churlish, but then that is what I'm here for. The fact is, the BBC's Open coverage is largely not bad at all, though there is always the Allis Question. It's the peripherals that infuriate, the unnecessary gift-wrapping.
Yesterday morning, for example, Craig Doyle's chummy introduction to the day was only slightly irritating. But why was it underscored by weepy choral music? What could that possibly add? If everything is a signifier (as some French intellectual or other surely once opined), what's that all about? What message is it trying to convey? Get me Jacques Derrida on the phone, maintenant.
And why the jaunty, New Orderish jingle when the leaderboard is shown? Are the facts depicted insufficient in themselves to hold the attention?
Well, clearly not. It smacks of said creative types living in fear of the P45. I may sound petty, banging on about tiny details. But by lacing their coverage with unwanted fripperies, the BBC appear to believe the golf won't be enough in itself, as if they don't have total faith in their product.
Whereas, in fact, all you ever need do when televising sport is show as much of the action as possible and the punters will be happy. Maybe recruit someone without an ego to commentate and someone vaguely knowledgeable and articulate for a bit of expert analysis, but that's about it. Sport doesn't need scores of the musical variety and it doesn't need perky reporters adding 'colour'. It certainly doesn't need Craig Doyle.
And what about Thursday's highlights? As Gary Lineker put it in a mild rebuke to the programmers, 'In a 40-minute highlight show we can't show everybody, of course.' Last night's was better at 55 minutes " only five short of the usual length, but still giving the impression of being squeezed into the schedule like an extra club into Woosie's bag.
For the first day and a bit at least, the golf itself was thoroughly compelling. Yesterday morning, Tiger Woods' main challenger from Thursday, Mark Hensby, walked straight into a bogey at the first. As Sam Torrance put it, 'Tiger's not even got out of bed yet and he's doubled his lead.'
Then, as things got worse on the second, Hensby was grinning through it. 'I don't know whether he's on the verge of hysteria,' Peter Allis mused. No. He was probably thinking, 'I may be in the process of throwing away the Open Championship, but at least I don't have to listen to that damned leaderboard music.'
Copyright 2005 Independent Newspapers UK Limited
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